Dark Truth: Daily Journals (1)

Fire Walls I’ve struggled for nearly a year; struggled to regain any form of structure and consistency. Struggled to ‘get through’ another season of physical and emotional exhaustion. Struggled to break old patterns and build new roads. Struggled to make connections deeper than a thimble. Struggled to commit to the things which bring me joy. But most of all, I have struggled to love and … Continue reading Dark Truth: Daily Journals (1)

Old Wounds & New Scars

Old Wounds Four winters ago, I found myself hanging from a cliff, dangling and desperate to climb up. I survived that winter, allowing myself to believe I’d never slide off the cliff again. I wasn’t completely wrong, if you’re looking for me, you won’t find me dangling off a cliff. No, you’ll find me crashing through the waves as I’m being pulled down by the … Continue reading Old Wounds & New Scars

Neon Decadence: Anxiety Lurks

A thought popped into my mind this morning as I climbed out of bed, or maybe it was as I stepped into the shower. In any instance, the thought slammed into me without notice. The idea that ‘achievement motivates me, and failure destroys me.’ As soon as I could see the words clearly, I rolled them around a few times – could it be true? … Continue reading Neon Decadence: Anxiety Lurks

All That Glitters

Today marks the five-year anniversary of my nightmare’s beginning. The moment when the choices of another would change everything. But I’m not here to talk about that directly. The truth is, I’m not entirely sure I see it that way anymore. I’ve spent my time lying near the stagnant waters of poor me, and why me, losing blood by the pints. Bloodsucking mosquitoes of negativity … Continue reading All That Glitters

Mix-ups, Malfunctions, and Misunderstandings

I woke this morning, as I do every morning, filled with the pleasant feeling of wholeness. My mind full of intention and purpose. My body at ease, reveling in the peace of a good night’s sleep. I wake every day with the sense that I could conquer the world. There is a moment, a second or two, as my eyes are opening, and my senses … Continue reading Mix-ups, Malfunctions, and Misunderstandings

Hiding from the Enemy

I have a million beginnings bouncing around in my head – tens of millions of words to speak. Ideas to share. Thoughts. Dreams. Concerns. And yet, here I sit watching from the sidelines as my thoughts battle it out. Waging war on my peace of mind. My inner critic playing the part of referee beautifully. Why? What’s holding me back? Fear? Confusion? I think I’m … Continue reading Hiding from the Enemy

Shades of Life – Pt. 2

…… continued  Upon returning to home from Ohio, it was abundantly clear that I was going to have to shave my hair weekly. Not a problem except the fact that I would have to also color my hair weekly – an expense I was not willing to commit to. It was time to decide – time to nail down my priorities. Fit in… conform to … Continue reading Shades of Life – Pt. 2