A 90-degree Nightmare


I’m completely and utterly lost, and it scares the crap out of me. So much so that I cannot connect with my emotions when I want to. I’m swinging on a pendulum of pain that will not stop. I find myself attempting to manage the sudden shifts from sadness to anger only to find I’ve fallen into a sea of emotional disconnect. Feeling the feels in extremes or not at all. The shifts are sudden and swift, continually facing a 90-degree nightmare atop a roller-coaster on the edge – this is the life I live. This is why I hide.

My sadness is a result of the overwhelming pain consuming our country. A pain we all seek answers for, pointing fingers and placing blame, yet never seeing the truth. Everyone wants to know why ‘we’ as a culture are destroying ourselves and each other. Everyone has an opinion, but few want to see. We are continually connected to devices and never truly connected to one another. We pretend we are; gathering friends like we were the most popular kid in high school, but never actually cultivating relationships. Trading talking for stalking.

We are a culture of highlight reels and headlines. Do you want to know what’s wrong? Really? The answer may involve pointing the finger at yourself. The answer may leave you feeling you’re part of the blame. Can you handle it? What I see is this; social media has created a disconnect in our culture and mass media used the crack in humanity to create a deep divide. Humans are meant to communicate and converse, face-to-face and eye-to-eye. We are meant to touch one another while sharing love, compassion, and understanding. No one wants to ‘relationship’ anymore. It’s disgusting!

Even in the moments when you can get a person to stop and have a conversation or a meal, most still are not present. Checking their phones and never making eye contact, as if they may miss an electronic notification. I’m guilty of it myself. Checking their watches while sitting on the edge of their seat, as if life elsewhere is more important. I’ve tried to accept that people have busy lives and may not have time for other people, but I’m continually reminded that this is a lie.

Everyone has all the time in the world to post and share on social media, anxiously perusing the pages of strangers, advertisers, and mass media, but never willing to have a real conversation. There’s nothing more infuriating than a person saying they don’t have time but they live online. We have our priorities all mixed up, commenting on celebrity pages when we could be talking to people who actually exist in our lives.

We don’t talk anymore. We don’t touch anymore. We don’t smile anymore. We don’t love anymore. We don’t forgive anymore. We simply don’t ‘relationship’ anymore. Everyone wants to know what’s wrong with this country…. It’s simple – our compassion is DYING!!





Photo by Tim Gouw

11 thoughts on “A 90-degree Nightmare

      1. Yeah, I tried to avoid the ‘shift’ but my friends and family weren’t having it. LOL! I honestly avoid social media as much as I can, mostly using it to promote my blog and occasionally I join a private FB group for writing.


  1. Id be honoured to have you join my private facebook group Dear Sister! Its called Sanctuary Stretch Wellness & Faith. Ive finally pushed through the next level of my fears and done a few vlogs not many though. And Im still not happy with them. That inner critic is such a bitch lol. I’d love to share and connect more with you on there. Im rarely on wordpress these days. Xxx

    Liked by 1 person

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